Avoid Allowing Your Routine to rule you
Who doesn’t love a good routine (spoken like a true Taurus I know). Maybe it’s a morning routine that you are drawn to that aids you in not only greeting the day but getting through the day or maybe an evening routine calls to you to help you unwind and release the day. Maybe you have a mid-day routine, or some other routine that is special and useful on your journey. When we get used to our routines it can be difficult to get through the day if we are unable to complete our full routine. We may find ourselves coming off as harsh, not participating in activities that are healthy for us or we may find we just feel off and nothing is working out. It can be easy when this happens to scapegoat our routine, “oh if I had been able to complete this part of my routine I would have felt better and not done ______.” Sometimes we can find ourselves caught in a routine that may not be working for us; however, it can still feel like something is missing or off even when some part of a maladaptive routine is thrown off. We have all been there and I was interested in how to incorporate routines in a healthy way and avoid this feeling of my routine controlling me and the outcome of my day.
Routines can be lovely, they can ready us for the day or prepare us to relax and release the day. Routines can also become restrictive when we feel as though we need to do every aspect of our routine to ensure we have a ‘good’ day telling ourselves that if we miss something we will certainly have a ‘bad’ day. This type of thinking can increase our stress and anxiety. When we can notice how we are thinking we can begin to shift it.
I have long had a morning routine and since the beginning of the pandemic I have added several new things to my routine making my routine quite a long one. I noticed that to include all the pieces of my routine I had added I would need to rush, wake up very early, or miss out on other things I enjoyed like a good puppy snuggle.
I started to pay more attention to my routine and how I was going about it and I realized when I tried to do all of it I would not be present in what I was doing as I was stressing about what I had to do next to make sure I did all aspects of my routine. For me this did not work and I found myself depleted, stressed, and rushed. I knew I needed to make a shift so I could feel supported by my routine rather than stifled by my routine.
I decided to conduct a mini experiment with my morning routine. Each day when I woke up I would take an extra moment in bed with my eyes closed and ask myself, “what aspects of my morning routine will serve me best today.” I would then take a few deep breaths and think about the things I would do to ready myself for the day and based on the day I would pick however many things I had time to fully commit to doing. I only picked those things I knew that I could do 100% and for me this was a game changer. One it made me more mindful about checking in with what my body actually needed rather than going on autopilot and running through a routine not paying attention to what I was doing or needing. Two it gave me power over my routine, I decided what aspects of my routine I was going to commit to which made it easier to commit to those things and really truly be in them while I was doing them. Three it set me up for success in my day as I started my day refreshed and recharged with no guilty feelings of not having meditated long enough or having to turn down a puppy dogs offer of snuggles so I could push through with my routine.
To make this change we have to shift how we think about our routine and how our routine shapes our day. Your day is not determined by how long you meditate for in the morning or whether you got to stretch as long as you wanted, your day is determined by your thoughts and what you choose to attach your thoughts to. By deliberating choosing the aspects of your routine that you are going to commit to you make a conscious choice about how to start or end your day based on your bodies actual needs. You allow yourself the space to recognize that the person who cut you off on the Deerfoot didn’t cut you off because you didn’t get your coffee, they are living their own life and didn’t even notice you, they were in no way trying to slight you. You create more mental bandwidth for the things you want to put your attention into as you have done what you realistically had time to commit to doing which frees you of guilt or shame. You ensure your present and aware and gaining the full benefit of your routine.
